so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
