We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you win again, gameday.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
