my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
