SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
