its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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