oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I met the friendliest cop last night
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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