I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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