I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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