yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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