we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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