it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh god the rape fog is back!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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