id be glad to
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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