I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
