The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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