What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
