if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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