he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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