Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
