I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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