it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
