i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize