Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
