He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
3 2 1 whiskey
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
