Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
