bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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