I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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