i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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