we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can Purell be used as lube?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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