she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
