It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
