I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
