I'm drive I can fine osifer
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize