BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
