So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
