I am puke
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
