Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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