I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize