What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
pray to the hookup gods
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
