I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
