And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dear god my vagina.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
