Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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