I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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