So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
