I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
