My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
