yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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