Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
do nipples grow back?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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