We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
