Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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