plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize