I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
