U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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