So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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