You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
