I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
