just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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