he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize