He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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