PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
