I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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