I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
