I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
