just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
