I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
