hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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