dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My dick has a subreddit
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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