ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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