Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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